Uganda or bust!

Stronger is the One who fights for us. Mighty is the One who’s for us. He has made a way!

We have a new court date! In two weeks I will be TOUCHING my girl. Sweet Jesus. Someone pinch me.

All because of Him. Thank you, Lord.


waiting on God is hard, and that’s okay

A friend of mine recently shared this article with me. It SO meets me where I’m at, and where I’ve been this last year: waiting on God.

I thought I’d share it for any of my readers who are also waiting on God for something or someone.

May you, too, find encouragement in the truths shared by the author.


never was

In my last post, I wrote about how I’ve been grieving time lost and moments never experienced, and memories taken away.

I’ve pondered those thoughts and feelings the last few days and my heart is changing. I’m gaining a new perspective.

I still grieve time that will never be, but I’ve realized something. That time that we’ve lost – the two years that we will never get back of our daughter’s life – it was never mine to begin with. You see, those soon-to-be three years was never intended for me. They were ordained to be lived out in Uganda long before she was ever born. It doesn’t lessen the pain, but I can’t get held up on what I feel I’ve missed when they were never mine to have. Oh, how I wish things could have been different. I will take a day more with her any day. But, that wasn’t the Plan.

I want to be content with what is. I can’t change things. And I am SO thankful for the years that we WILL have, Lord willing.

We remain very humbled and blessed that we GET to be her parents. He chose US for her. How awesome is that?!

nothing is wasted

These last couple of weeks have been especially hard since we had expected to be in Uganda right now.

Its SO easy to focus on all the time that we’ve lost. The things we’ve missed. Moments that which we’ve not partake. Memories taken away before they were ever given. My heart deeply aches and grieves for those years lost in my daughter’s life.

And then I’m reminded, once again, that NOTHING in this world happens without my Father’s knowledge. The very One who placed each star in the sky, placed each hair on my head, and who’s voice will calm a raging sea Knows, Wills, and Allows any and EVERYTHING to take place each second in Time. NOTHING is an accident or surprise to Him. Do I REALLY believe this? Do YOU believe this?  Friends, trust is what gives me the strength to keep waiting. I HAVE to believe in His sovereignty. Clinging to the truth that God is in control; that He’s got this, is my hope and reason to press on. Just when I think I can’t wait any longer, I am again reminded that it is He that carries this daughter of my heart. And He carries me.

God is teaching me SO much in this journey to our sweet girl. Lately, He’s taught me that its not so much about the destination as it is the journey. You see, my mama heart is so focused on meeting my daughter and having her home and a part of this family. My eye is on the prize. I’m pretty sure this is normal and even okay. But, I think God is more concerned about the road ALONG THE WAY. Yes, He wants my girl to become a daughter. God takes great delight in Family. But, its in the journey that fruit is bore; where by which refinement is at its greatest; and we’re a step closer to holiness. Its in the journey that we become a little more like Him; likeness to the One who’s image we bear. For isn’t that what this life is all about?

I take great solace in believing that before our girl even breathed her first breath, He knew, willed and ORDAINED that it wouldn’t be until nearly her third year of life, that she would become ours and we would be hers. This is best. For her. And for me. It doesn’t mean its pain-free. I can tell you how it hurts. But in my hurt, I must not lose sight of His GOODNESS.

ALL things happen for good.

Even the time and years before she is mine.



You are loving, You are wise
There is nothing in my life You cannot revive
You are loving, You are wise
There is nothing too hard for our God

Nothing is wasted
You work all things for good
Nothing is wasted
Your promise remains
Forever You reign


Today our feet were supposed to finally touch African soil again! We were supposed to arrive in Uganda today.

But all that changed on Monday.

Just TWO DAYS before we were to board the plane, we received a call from our agency that the judge in Uganda had cancelled our court date due to a back log in cases. We were stunned! Shell-shocked! Our tickets had been bought, our bags were nearly packed, and our hearts were set on meeting our daughter just days away. We are devastated!! Our hearts are heavy, and SO disappointed in this unexpected change in plans.

We have spent the last few days trying to process this detour and (yet another) delay in our journey. Our hearts are grieving what was to be. There is so much we don’t understand. It hurts so much.

We don’t know what’s next. We wait once again for a new court date… How much more time will pass before we meet? Why is this journey such a struggle??

My immediate thought was that we are being attacked. The Evil One does not want to see an orphan become a daughter. For he delights in pain and brokenness. He thrives on division and does not want to see unity, and the birth of a family. Above all, he does not want this child to hear about Jesus and become a child of the King. Friends, God is not the only one at work in this world.

I am reminded that the only constant in this life is Jesus. He NEVER changes. The only thing we can rest our hope in that will never fail or disappoint, is Him. In just weeks, the gift of a court date, was stripped from us. Taken away. We felt like a rug had literally been pulled out from underneath us. The fall was great. And yet, nothing, NOONE can take God away from me or you. He will never leave, disappoint, or forsake. The Lord gives and takes away, Blessed be the name of the Lord.

We may be shaken and beat down, but our hope has not been destroyed.  It sill hurts. Oh man, this pain is great and deep! But our hope remains in Him. We will NOT give up. We will continue to fight for her. We will press on until our daughter is home. We WILL come for her.

I take solace in trusting that there IS purpose in this delay. I don’t know what it is yet. But nothing happens outside of His will. This was not a surprise to God. He knew. And yet He also grieves with us.

God is not yet finished writing our daughter’s story in Uganda.

There is more to be written.

(I made the following video after hearing the devastating news. I felt the urge to do something… making this for her was salve on the wound and therapy to my soul.)


the dawn

We have a COURT DATE!!!

After one whole entire year since we saw the face of our daughter, we are going to finally get to meet her!!!

The darkness has lifted. Dawn has come.

Its so surreal. Really. We are in awe once again at the Giver of this blessed gift.

We leave in just THREE weeks!!


The call came one week ago today: I was working in the clinic that day and had just finished telling my patient that we are adopting a little girl from Uganda and have been waiting on a court date for a very long time. Then my phone rang. It was my husband. He normally calls me around the lunch hour on his break, so I didn’t think anything of it. He asks me if I want to go to Uganda?! And then I knew. This was IT! It was a very surreal conversation. We had waited months, TWELVE to be exact, for this call! My patient overheard our entire conversation, and when I hung up, I saw tears in her eyes.

We are Elated. Scared. Nervous. Excited. Anxious. Overjoyed.


Baby Girl, your story is touching lives. God is at work. He takes pain and loss and uses it for good. For His glory. You see, sweet girl, this call was not supposed to come for another few months! This court date was truly a miracle! Because just THE DAY BEFORE our agency had told us that we’d been assigned a judge, but that the judge was pretty much inactive at this time due to a very big case. Therefore, we should not expect a court date until after the new year. They would, however, work on trying to get us assigned to a new judge. We, of course, were devastated! I was planning on calling everyone I knew to get on their knees and PRAY. Your dad said he couldn’t sleep that night, and remembers praying most of the night. We ache for you. Oh the prayers we have prayed over you! And SO many are overjoyed with the news, and can’t wait to meet you. 

Ahhhh, I can’t believe I’ll get to lay eyes on you in just weeks! I’ll get to finally touch you. Smell your skin. Kiss your cheeks. Hear your voice.


Never once did we ever walk this road alone. Never once did He leave us on our own. God is faithful. Forever faithful.

~To God be the Glory, great things he has done~

shaken, but not moved

These past couple of months have been plain hard.  And painful.  As we got closer and closer to “the one year mark” since our referral, and still no word of a court date, I struggled. For probably the first time in my life, I really wrestled with God.

I had (and sometimes still do) trouble understanding that all this “extra” time of waiting is truly the best. For how could His best be us here, and her there? APART. How could watching our daughter grow up through pictures be best? Isn’t “earlier the better” best for all the adjustment that her little heart will have to endure… for bonding and attachment?

I allowed doubt to creep into my heart. I briefly entertained it and let anger grow. Because who better to be angry at than the One who has the ultimate authority to make anything happen? And yet He chose to be still; to allow some circumstances to happen (or not happen). Honestly, at times I felt like all this waiting was a waste. Time was wasted. We’d been stripped of moments, and lost time. And we will never get it back. The loss is tremendous.

And then I’m reminded of our daughter’s loss. And the loss that is to come.  For when she steps on that plane to come home with us, she will be leaving so much. Her loss will be tremendous.

I’m also reminded of the love my Heavenly Father has for me. For this love that I have for my girl who is not even of my flesh, is only a mere FRACTION of the love God feels toward me. Just as I long to hold my daughter, He longs so much greater for me. He desires time with me. He wants my heart. And yours.

The following songs have ministered to my heart during this painfully hard season. May you, too, be encouraged.

one year

November 2nd was a particularly special day for us.

Because that day, exactly one year ago, we saw the face of our daughter for the very first time!

We became parents that day.

God had gifted us with a beautiful 17 month old little girl.

Oh, I remember the ecstasy. We were overjoyed! On top of the world :) You can read that post here.

One year ago, our hearts fell head over heels for a girl half-way across the world in Uganda, Africa!

Love was born.


Now, one year has come and gone, and although you’re not home and here with us yet, our love for you continues to grow with each passing day.

And it is because of our love for you, that this day is also painful for us.  For where there is great love, there is great pain. It reminds us not only of the gift God has given us in you, but of your {big} absence. You see, according to my heart’s burning desire/deepest prayer/and highest hope, you were supposed to already be here. Be home. With us.

But I’m not the one writing your story. God alone is.  And the great Author is not finished with writing your pages in Uganda, and our pages (or more like, chapters:) ) in Trust and Waiting. He has yet to write the part where your page meets mine. Oh the glory! The joy to come! Know this, Uga-babe, His story is ALWAYS better.

So, Baby Girl, until then, know we love you with every ounce of our being.

We have not and will not give up on you. We are committed. You are ours and we are yours.

We are fighting for you; and HE, your Heavenly Father, is fighting for you/for us/for this family that He is, even now, weaving together.


i need Him

i’m so thankful that my dear parents passed down to me an appreciation for the hymns…

i have such sweet memories of bedtime traditions singing together Old Rugged Cross, and Trust and Obey, and Take my Life and Let it Be to name a few.

so when i came across this video on Facebook last week, my soul came alive.

and i just can’t stop listening to it.

this acapella version, by ONE man, is POWERFUL.

this song speaks to my soul. it echoes my heart’s cry and plea as we continue to walk this season of waiting and trusting…

each day i have to surrender her to Him. each hour i have to let go and trust that in the silence He’s still at work; that in the absence of her, He’s still near…

so, yes, yes, YES…

oh how I need thee every hour.

In joy and in pain.

Come quickly, and abide.