a resource for later

Attachment.

That one word has such different meaning to me than it did just a couple years ago. Yikes! Attachment is HUGE for an adopted child. And the more and more I read about it, the more I am overwhelmed and terrified, to be completely honest. It is an absolute awesome responsibility for us as parents to help foster/encourage bonding in our child(ren).  I have a great respectable fear for it. Our child(ren) won’t have nine months inside my very being, hearing the beat of my heart and my voice. Or immediately be able to lay on my chest after birth and “just know” I’m Momma. I won’t be the source of his/her first nourishment from my body…

It will look a whole lot different for our child(ren) who has joined our family after a couple of years without us… I deeply want my child to bond to me and my husband; to belong; to attach; to feel love from us and towards us; to be emotionally healthy and not scarred for life, etc. Really, which parent doesn’t?  I’ve read enough (and still have LOTS more to read) to know that it’s not going to be easy; that we have to be very INTENTIONAL in our attachment parenting. Wow, the burden is great! And I start to wonder if we’re, if I’M, even cut out for this?

And then I read this post from thefarmer’swife and I am encouraged. Her priorities are in the right spot. And so many great insights. We, as parents, don’t need to bear the whole burden. Christ is the One who holds them and is the ultimate Healer. So, I have posted it here so I can refer to it in the future. :)

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my bookshelf

I used to be a “one-book” kind-of gal. I guess that has changed. I have been in the middle of each these books at some time or another over the last few years.

This year, 2012, I am determined to finish them all! :)

DONE!! :)

In just over 3 months (in fact, by a matter of a few days), we have completed the paper chase, err, I mean phase, of the adoption process (home study and dossier)!! WAHOO!!  We are very pleased, as this typically takes much longer… we’re not at all anxious or excited, or anything like that. :) We just felt that we’ve already been waiting so long to even begin this whole process that we wanted the few things that we could control to move fairly quickly. Yes, nothin’ will get in THIS momma’s way! :)

Home study is done and waiting on approval. Dossier is done and ready for submittal. Let the “official” wait begin…

in-between

It’s been 8 months. Crazy. It’s still hard to believe that we’ve gone and come back already. It seriously seems like yesterday when we were preparing to go. And when TWO years seemed like a lifetime. And now its over. We’re back in our home. We’re both working. Our life is here now. And yet, to be honest, in some ways we find it hard to be content here. Our hearts are restless. The newness has worn off and we are ready for a change again; for the next adventure. I know, we just got home. But when you’ve spent the last 2 1/2 years moving to a new country every six to ten months, you thrive on change. The things we couldn’t wait to get back to, or the things we missed while we were away, aren’t as exciting as we once envisioned. My hubby misses the adventure, the travel, the work, the people. I miss moments… I miss everything.

The ache for different things hits us at random. Its so deep and palpable. So real. Different things spark specific images or memories. Little things about life on the ship or in town, on the streets. But, some of them are beginning to fade and get a little fuzzy. Our time in Africa feels like a dream. Like another lifetime. The contrast between our lives, our worlds, from the then and now is just too great. Its hard to even describe. So I’m SO thankful we experienced it together. We have each other to keep the memories alive; to reminisce.

Missions is still on our hearts. We know without a doubt that God has us here for now. So what does missions look like for us here? How can we live missionally in the here and now? In the mundane… the routine? What does the future hold for us? The longer we’re here, the more work it seems to go again. And I doubt whether I can do it all over again. It wasn’t all warm and fuzzy. Sometimes it was hard. Sometimes it was painful. There were things that frustrated us. Lots of things. Yet when we’re over there, there’s a part of us that longs for home. And now we’re home, parts of us ache to be back. One thing IS for sure, although we can’t go right now, we can SEND. And we are excited about that! :) We know what its like to be on the receiving end, depending on other’s financial gifts, and we want to be a part of it. We want to give back and bless our missionaries. So, we are praying about it and waiting on who the Lord will place on our hearts.

The best way I can put into words our hearts; Our present state, is this: we live between two worlds. Our hearts are neither fully here, nor fully there. We have a foot in each. In a way, deep down, I hope we always do.

my birthday dinner

I have been having intermittent cravings for african food since we’ve been home. To my pleasant surprise, I actually found one WEST african restaurant here in town (the rest serve from the east)!!! So one night, several weeks back, we excitedly went to check it out, and to our great disappointment, found that it had permanently closed shop!! To say I was disappointed is an understatement. :(

So when my hubby asked where I wanted to go for my birthday dinner out, I was eager to find another african restaurant. And I totally scored on my choice!!! We went to E’Njoni Cafe. It serves cuisine from the mediterranean, and north and east africa (primarily Ethiopian). We had a BLAST! And absolutely LOVED the food! Since living in Africa, we like our food spicy. And spicy it was. :) We ate from the buffet that sampled most of their dishes. The chicken curry was both our favorites. Although, I honestly liked it all. And the atmosphere was pleasant too. Oh, I must mention that I had a glass of Ethiopian honey wine and the hubby had an Ethiopian beer. Both were a little too sweet for our taste. All in all, we’ll go back… East Africa has better food than West (I admit it)… but the West has the East beat on fried plaintains, hands-down!!!

12 wishes for 2012

1. love recklessly

2. forgive humbly

3. dream hugely

4. give radically

5. encourage freely

6. live intentionally

7. serve wholeheartedly

8. wait patiently

9. play ridiculously

10. rest fully

11. seek Him earnestly

12. surrender unreservedly