the dawn

We have a COURT DATE!!!

After one whole entire year since we saw the face of our daughter, we are going to finally get to meet her!!!

The darkness has lifted. Dawn has come.

Its so surreal. Really. We are in awe once again at the Giver of this blessed gift.

We leave in just THREE weeks!!

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The call came one week ago today: I was working in the clinic that day and had just finished telling my patient that we are adopting a little girl from Uganda and have been waiting on a court date for a very long time. Then my phone rang. It was my husband. He normally calls me around the lunch hour on his break, so I didn’t think anything of it. He asks me if I want to go to Uganda?! And then I knew. This was IT! It was a very surreal conversation. We had waited months, TWELVE to be exact, for this call! My patient overheard our entire conversation, and when I hung up, I saw tears in her eyes.

We are Elated. Scared. Nervous. Excited. Anxious. Overjoyed.

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Baby Girl, your story is touching lives. God is at work. He takes pain and loss and uses it for good. For His glory. You see, sweet girl, this call was not supposed to come for another few months! This court date was truly a miracle! Because just THE DAY BEFORE our agency had told us that we’d been assigned a judge, but that the judge was pretty much inactive at this time due to a very big case. Therefore, we should not expect a court date until after the new year. They would, however, work on trying to get us assigned to a new judge. We, of course, were devastated! I was planning on calling everyone I knew to get on their knees and PRAY. Your dad said he couldn’t sleep that night, and remembers praying most of the night. We ache for you. Oh the prayers we have prayed over you! And SO many are overjoyed with the news, and can’t wait to meet you. 

Ahhhh, I can’t believe I’ll get to lay eyes on you in just weeks! I’ll get to finally touch you. Smell your skin. Kiss your cheeks. Hear your voice.

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Never once did we ever walk this road alone. Never once did He leave us on our own. God is faithful. Forever faithful.

~To God be the Glory, great things he has done~

shaken, but not moved

These past couple of months have been plain hard.  And painful.  As we got closer and closer to “the one year mark” since our referral, and still no word of a court date, I struggled. For probably the first time in my life, I really wrestled with God.

I had (and sometimes still do) trouble understanding that all this “extra” time of waiting is truly the best. For how could His best be us here, and her there? APART. How could watching our daughter grow up through pictures be best? Isn’t “earlier the better” best for all the adjustment that her little heart will have to endure… for bonding and attachment?

I allowed doubt to creep into my heart. I briefly entertained it and let anger grow. Because who better to be angry at than the One who has the ultimate authority to make anything happen? And yet He chose to be still; to allow some circumstances to happen (or not happen). Honestly, at times I felt like all this waiting was a waste. Time was wasted. We’d been stripped of moments, and lost time. And we will never get it back. The loss is tremendous.

And then I’m reminded of our daughter’s loss. And the loss that is to come.  For when she steps on that plane to come home with us, she will be leaving so much. Her loss will be tremendous.

I’m also reminded of the love my Heavenly Father has for me. For this love that I have for my girl who is not even of my flesh, is only a mere FRACTION of the love God feels toward me. Just as I long to hold my daughter, He longs so much greater for me. He desires time with me. He wants my heart. And yours.

The following songs have ministered to my heart during this painfully hard season. May you, too, be encouraged.

one year

November 2nd was a particularly special day for us.

Because that day, exactly one year ago, we saw the face of our daughter for the very first time!

We became parents that day.

God had gifted us with a beautiful 17 month old little girl.

Oh, I remember the ecstasy. We were overjoyed! On top of the world :) You can read that post here.

One year ago, our hearts fell head over heels for a girl half-way across the world in Uganda, Africa!

Love was born.

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Now, one year has come and gone, and although you’re not home and here with us yet, our love for you continues to grow with each passing day.

And it is because of our love for you, that this day is also painful for us.  For where there is great love, there is great pain. It reminds us not only of the gift God has given us in you, but of your {big} absence. You see, according to my heart’s burning desire/deepest prayer/and highest hope, you were supposed to already be here. Be home. With us.

But I’m not the one writing your story. God alone is.  And the great Author is not finished with writing your pages in Uganda, and our pages (or more like, chapters:) ) in Trust and Waiting. He has yet to write the part where your page meets mine. Oh the glory! The joy to come! Know this, Uga-babe, His story is ALWAYS better.

So, Baby Girl, until then, know we love you with every ounce of our being.

We have not and will not give up on you. We are committed. You are ours and we are yours.

We are fighting for you; and HE, your Heavenly Father, is fighting for you/for us/for this family that He is, even now, weaving together.

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