never was

In my last post, I wrote about how I’ve been grieving time lost and moments never experienced, and memories taken away.

I’ve pondered those thoughts and feelings the last few days and my heart is changing. I’m gaining a new perspective.

I still grieve time that will never be, but I’ve realized something. That time that we’ve lost – the two years that we will never get back of our daughter’s life – it was never mine to begin with. You see, those soon-to-be three years was never intended for me. They were ordained to be lived out in Uganda long before she was ever born. It doesn’t lessen the pain, but I can’t get held up on what I feel I’ve missed when they were never mine to have. Oh, how I wish things could have been different. I will take a day more with her any day. But, that wasn’t the Plan.

I want to be content with what is. I can’t change things. And I am SO thankful for the years that we WILL have, Lord willing.

We remain very humbled and blessed that we GET to be her parents. He chose US for her. How awesome is that?!

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One thought on “never was

  1. I’ve been reading your blog eagerly as you post…and riding the roller coaster with you Hannah. Excited, sad, humbled, contented, excited, disappointed, etc. Thank you for sharing we continue to pray for you . . . if you are in the area DO drop by we’d love to share some hugs!! (and smootches on chubby cheeks. ;)) Your last post was what crossed my mind as well…God IS SO GOOD! Happy New Year!

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