5 months

{ October 2012 }

October hold’s Uganda’s Independence Day! And this year was their Golden Jubilee– celebrating 50 years as a nation!! So this month our “waiting for you” pic honors Uganda’s birthday. :)

Proverbs 4 is probably one of my favorite chapters in the Bible when it comes to what we desire for each of our kiddos. You can read the whole chapter here… And this month it echoes our prayer for them:

   23 Above all else, guard your heart,
    for everything you do flows from it.

for our heart babies,  the world will try to rob your heart of so many things; like joy and contentment… and time. oh, be careful with this one! the evil one is an expert in distraction! he will do anything to keep you from growing deeper with your heavenly father. be choosy with who and what you have surround you, for it will influence who you become and the choices you will make. and, lastly, don’t be quick to give your heart to another. your worth is in found in the Blood that was spilled for you, not in any man. drink in Him, so that your heart overflows with His love and goodness.

I was so pleased to find these childhood classics at a book fair last month at work! No children’s library is complete without these treasures:

And because October screams FALL, I thought I’d share a few of my fall favorites (around our home). For Fall is my absolute favorite time of year! I love the crisp mornings, the rich color changes in the leaves, cups of tea beside the fire, anything and everything PUMPKIN, fall decor, the pumpkin patch and all its festivities, Thanksgiving (my fave holiday), shoot we got married in the fall, oh I could just go on and on… :)

P.S.  We would appreciate your prayers… we’ve been on the wait list for 6 months now (5 months since DTU), and there has been very little movement. It’s so hard not to get discouraged… we need patience and contentment during this very long season of waiting. Also, please pray for our Uga-babe(s). We don’t know the circumstances that they are in and what they are going through right now… Thank you!!

Love, H & T

babymoon

Every year, when September rolls around, we take our much needed vacation. We choose September, because it’s our anniversary month. :) We have made it tradition to save our money each year and “travel” over our anniversary. We share a love of traveling, and God has given us a growing heart for the nations over the years.

So, when Tim’s brother and our sis-in-law began making travel plans to her home country of South Korea this last Spring, so did we! She and Tim’s brother met way back in college here in the states. She has since made the good ol’ US of A “home.” When they married, my very wise brother-in-law made the commitment to take her back home every year or two. We have always hoped we would be able to join them on one of those trips to meet her family…

And THIS year was the year! We also decided to take the two-hour hop and a skip flight over to China to see the Great Wall. I mean, why not, when we are SO close! :)

(The cable car ride up and down)

(The stunning view of the surrounding mountains of China)
(Our first glimpse of the Great Wall from the cable car!)
(Our view before we set foot on it)

(Standing atop the Great Wall of China!!)

(The Wall was breathtaking! So surreal to be walking on such rich history. I simply can’t imagine all the hands and hard work of each person involved in building this wall that took nearly three centuries to make– 278 years!!)

(This handsome guy makes my heart go crazy! Happy 8 years of Us, Love!)

Although the Great Wall of China and touring Beijing was a HUGE highlight of our trip, we especially enjoyed seeing our sis-in-law in her home country and meeting all her family and friends (the main reason for going). We loved Korea!! And kimchi. :) Somehow of ALL the pictures I took of China and Korea, this was the only picture of the four of us (a little blurry)…

So there you have it, a glimpse into our “babymoon” as I called it… because we hope that this is our last big trip before we go to Uganda to meet our baby(s)!!

in the waiting

One year ago, tomorrow, we excitedly filled out our application to our agency. Wow, I can’t believe its already been one whole year!

Officially, its only been six months on the wait list, but since we’ve known for years that this is the road God would eventually ask us to walk, it feels like we’ve been waiting MUCH LONGER! :) Ugh, and we still have a LONG road ahead of us! I knew the wait wouldn’t be easy, I just didn’t expect to be so READY. I guess after eight years of marriage, and finally “ready” in our hearts and lives to have children, I am so ready to be a mom in every way. We both look forward to parenthood and all that the season will bring. This makes the daily routine of life, for the first time, seem mundane and empty in a way. I know, we aren’t even matched yet. And we don’t know who they are and how little. Or heard their names yet. Or if God is going to bless us with one or two.

Even though we’ve been in the process one whole year, it’s still only the beginning in a lot of ways. So much has yet to happen. And I find my heart getting impatient. I can’t help but dream, wish, and hope…for so many things. I can’t help but compare our journey to the traditional time-line of pregnancy… going back to when we applied one year ago, would mean that we presently would have a three-month old baby right now! (that is if we got pregnant right away). But, I can’t really go there. The journeys are just not comparable.

And then the ugly reality brings me back. That in my waiting, is likely their pain. The circumstances that will eventually bring our lives together, is every child’s nightmare. And they will be living it. For adoption is birthed out of loss and hurt. Even though I long for them to be here… here in our lives, our home, our family, our arms… I wish that so many things wouldn’t be so. I want to take away that which will cause them pain. I wish we could be together without them experiencing great loss.

And then so much of me wants time to hold still, to slow down. Because time means everything. Time means more time for our babies in their birth country and culture. Maybe more time with their family or caregivers who loved them first. And whom they loved. Time means more time as a couple, just the two of us. And life as we’ve known it for the last eight years. For when they are finally here, I’m fully aware that our lives will turn a whole 360 degrees! Oh the wait. It brings such inner turmoil. I love it and I hate it.

Can I mention how surreal adoption is?!  I can’t explain it. Sometimes I wonder if we are really expecting? Are we really parents-to-be? I can’t see the progress in a growing belly or monthly ultrasounds. I can’t really prepare for anything yet. We don’t have a due date or a solid time-line. We don’t know the age or gender. We don’t have exciting progress to share with family and friends. Its all a big unknown. Oh, how It seems so far away! They feel so far away. We long for strangers. Sometimes our Uga-babes feel like something I’ve made up in my imagination. Are they even for real? Oh forgive me, little one(s). I just miss you.

I know that through all this and what is to come, that God is here. He’s among and beside. He knows my heart and my deepest longing. Even though we don’t know, He knows. He knows who they are. We may be carrying them in our hearts, but He ultimately holds them. Forever. They are His. That alone brings my momma-heart solace. I must be still and listen. And wait on Him. For His refinement only brings me closer to Him and His heart.

For isn’t that what this life is all about? Oh, Father, for Your glory…

And I will fall at your feet. I will fall at your feet. And worship you here…

here in the waiting.